We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
ABSENT FOR YOUR OWN DEATH:
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice day.